Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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