dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
BRING THE BAGELS
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
