forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
