: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry about my life...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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