I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
