Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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