hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
