Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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