I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
