any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
