There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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