Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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