i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
