I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The ass gains better be worth it
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