I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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