You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
