The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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