Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Who died my cat blue again?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize