I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
