mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
