It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
