Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
