She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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