i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
