Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
