hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
