She's JV to your varsity
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
