i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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