I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize