I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
