You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
