So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
