Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
