That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
