After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
