No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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