i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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