Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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