Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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