i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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