Say something about gay babies.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
COCAINE IS GR8
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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