Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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