guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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