Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
