how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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