I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
