oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
