my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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