Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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