How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize