I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize