and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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