dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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