one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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