he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
