Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
